Good Getup, More Fun!

People love people in great costumes. In fact, a lot of the fun a person has on this spooky holiday could be attributed to the quality of costume.

Sadly, there are many people out there who conjure up costumes which are mediocre at best. Going through the motions, these Halloween haters throw some lame getup together at the last minute, trying to use ideas like “About-To-Sneeze Man” from Adam Sandler’s bit on Saturday Night Live, and call it a costume.

Now, if everyone planned for Halloween activities as much as they planned to see Grey’s Anatomy on Thursday nights, sightseeing on Halloween would be more thrilling for everyone.

If you scurry to get scary every year, there’s good news. You still have a few days to prepare a higher-quality costume for the big day. Don’t let the words “higher-quality” spook you, for last year’s Poor College Student “costume” won’t be too difficult to beat. Here’s a hint: if your outfit is something you’d normally wear, it doesn’t count.

So put away your “This is My Costume” shirt and get creative. You won’t regret putting in the extra effort. I’ll let you brainstorm costume ideas. In the meantime, here are a few costume tips to ensure your Halloween is as fun as possible.

1.) You may not be the best, but strive to not be the worst.
If you’re planning on dressing as something popular this year (such as a pirate or a witch), you best be sure you look good. For example, if you brush up on your moonwalk and try to go as Michael Jackson, you should know that “you are not alone” in the efforts – there will likely be many imitation Michaels this year. It’s scary to think of the lengths people might go to in order to replicate “The King of Pop.” How you attempt the look is up to you. Just be be sure you’re not the worst replica.

2.) Avoid discomfort.
No matter how much fun you want to have, costume malfunctions will put a damper on the evening. If you wear 4” high heels to pull off the look of Mary-Kate Olsen or have a too-tight costume that continually rides up in the wrong places, you’ll never reach the desired level of Halloween fun. Wear something that looks good and doesn’t take away from the enjoyment of this exciting holiday.

3.) Remember pictures last forever.
Halloween is one of the most common times to snap some pictures. Even if you’re not taking them, if your costume is good (or bad) enough to get some attention, or if you have any friends, photos will be taken. Thanks to your friends, these pictures are bound to show up somewhere, meaning all your acquaintances’, co-workers and exes will be able to research your Halloween festivities through Myspace and Facebook. Don’t sport a lame or inappropriate costume because (whether you like it or not), everyone will see you, either in person or the everlasting pictures.

4.) Remember you can get away with nearly anything.
Ahh… the security of a Halloween mask! This holiday presents you with one opportunity per year to do things you wouldn’t do any other day, so USE IT! Short of carrying around a handgun as “part of your costume,” you can do just about anything and talk to anyone. In addition, people with great costumes are instantly deemed as fun and approachable, giving you the chance to talk to people you normally wouldn’t interact with.

Well, sitting here just thinking about my costume isn’t going to have me looking like Tina Tuner anytime soon, so pardon me while I rat my hair, iron my shimmery dress and search for a microphone.

Shootin’ the Wit is a weekly column about everyday life that should never, ever be taken too seriously.