Your Cleanup Week Personality

The week has come for everyone to wear their junk on their curb.

Not only does cleanup week have people tossing out their embarrassingly worn-out furniture and ancient appliances, it also brings out the best of personalities in our community.

I’d like to start by admitting that during the week, I’m partial to keeping my eyes peeled through my usual routes – plus an additional few.

Maybe cleanup week doesn’t come up in conversation with your friends or coworkers but surely everyone’s thinking about it. Some people likely fear they’re going to have the ugliest couch on any curb in the entire Fargo-Moorhead area. Others might be wondering whether they’re weird for having the desire to stop for a closer look at what someone else considers junk.

The fact is, everyone has a different level of involvement in cleanup week, which by the way should be a holiday. Here’s the breakdown. Which type of cleanup week personality do you have?

Level One
People of the level one personality insist cleanup week is a nuisance, besides being an obvious eye-sore. Cleanup week shouldn’t be a week. It should be a day, so no “diggers” have a chance to make their way to their precious goods, which of course belong in the landfill.

Level Two
You know what they say… “One man’s junk is another man’s treasure!” Level two personalities see cleanup week as an opportunity to scrounge up something they find valuable – similar to a community garage sale, only everything is free… a dream come true, if you will.

Level Three
Level three personalities are a mix between level one and level two. They make it clear they have no interest in what others set out on their curb. However, once dusk strikes, they turn into a level two. Clad in dark clothes and a nifty disguise, they go on the prowl, hoping items they spotted during their level one phase earlier in the day are still on the curb.

Level Four
Level four personalities don’t drive around looking for more stuff to accumulate. They drive around to observe others inspect and accumulate “treasures”. To a level four personality, there’s something amusing about watching others sniff couch cushions and fully inspect toasters with no cords before taking ownership.

Whatever your personality, be proud because no matter what level you are, nobody here is “the norm.” Cleanup week is awkward. People do crazy things. They throw away odd items. That’s why I say cleanup week truly brings out the best of personalities in our community – along with their worst possessions.

Shootin’ the Wit is a lighthearted column about everyday life that should never be taken too seriously.