In the last three days, I’ve seen two men with next-to-naked women tattooed on their lower leg. In one, the emphasis was on her behind; the other, her chest.
And really rather disturbing.
It’s one thing to plaster a “sexy” decal of a woman’s silhouette on the rear window of a jacked-up truck, or pin up a Budweiser girl poster behind a toolbox in the garage. But this permanent tattoo will be displayed on their calves forever. Like they say in The Sandlot, “For. Ev. Or. Fooooor. Eeeevvv. Oooooor….”
Pardon me for sounding like a prude, but what a terrible way to express whatever impression they’re trying to give off.
I began making excuses for these guys. Maybe it was a drunken mistake or a lost bet. Maybe they were looking for a surefire way to be single forever (I’m betting most chicks don’t dig it). Maybe they were bored, feeling lonely or felt the need to emphasize their sexual orientation, which hopefully will never change. Maybe they’re just trying to upset people like me who stare at it in devastation and a degree of sympathy.
Now, to set the facts straight, seeing the tats is unsettling, but I refuse to believe this is solely my point of view. There must be some amount of regret to tattooing such an “emblem” on your skin, permanently. Even more concerning is what’s going on in this person’s mind. I mean really… are they okay?
I openly told one of the inked men that if someone paid me upwards of $50 million, I still wouldn’t consider getting a tattoo in the same realm. Partially expecting a big ol’ punch to the shnozz, I waited for an explanation of why they chose their artwork. Nothing. He only nodded. Even the people with barcode tattoos can tell you there’s meaning behind it, so what’s with the naked gal? Is it necessary to proclaim via ink that you’re a man who finds a barely-dressed woman attractive? Sorry guys, but I think that’s sort of a given.
Why is a tattoo like this desired? Do they ever become embarrassing? Do times exist where they cringe over their decision? Like when they want to wear shorts to grandma’s birthday party in Mid-August? What about the day they have kids or nephews or nieces: that scantily clad woman will be at eye-level to a kid for a long time. What if they accidentally burn those calves on a motorcycle pipe, like so many people do? That’d be one blotchy babe; though at least she wouldn’t be covered in hair.
Enough of my opinion. To each their own. But in all honesty, I’d love to know the background of a tattoo like this. I’m obviously missing something. Feel free to explain.
Shootin’ the Wit is a column about everyday life that should never, ever be taken too seriously.