You paid for that?

In the last three days, I’ve seen two men with next-to-naked women tattooed on their lower leg.  In one, the emphasis was on her behind; the other, her chest.


And gross…

And really rather disturbing.

It’s one thing to plaster a “sexy” decal of a woman’s silhouette on the rear window of a jacked-up truck, or pin up a Budweiser girl poster behind a toolbox in the garage. But this permanent tattoo will be displayed on their calves forever. Like they say in The Sandlot, “For. Ev. Or.  Fooooor. Eeeevvv. Oooooor….”

Pardon me for sounding like a prude, but what a terrible way to express whatever impression they’re trying to give off.

I began making excuses for these guys. Maybe it was a drunken mistake or a lost bet. Maybe they were looking for a surefire way to be single forever (I’m betting most chicks don’t dig it). Maybe they were bored, feeling lonely or felt the need to emphasize their sexual orientation, which hopefully will never change.  Maybe they’re just trying to upset people like me who stare at it in devastation and a degree of sympathy.

Now, to set the facts straight, seeing the tats is unsettling, but I refuse to believe this is solely my point of view.  There must be some amount of regret to tattooing such an “emblem” on your skin, permanently. Even more concerning is what’s going on in this person’s mind. I mean really… are they okay?

I openly told one of the inked men that if someone paid me upwards of $50 million, I still wouldn’t consider getting a tattoo in the same realm.  Partially expecting a big ol’ punch to the shnozz, I waited for an explanation of why they chose their artwork.  Nothing. He only nodded.  Even the people with barcode tattoos can tell you there’s meaning behind it, so what’s with the naked gal? Is it necessary to proclaim via ink that you’re a man who finds a barely-dressed woman attractive? Sorry guys, but I think that’s sort of a given.

Why is a tattoo like this desired? Do they ever become embarrassing? Do times exist where they cringe over their decision?  Like when they want to wear shorts to grandma’s birthday party in Mid-August?  What about the day they have kids or nephews or nieces: that scantily clad woman will be at eye-level to a kid for a long time.  What if they accidentally burn those calves on a motorcycle pipe, like so many people do?  That’d be one blotchy babe; though at least she wouldn’t be covered in hair.

Enough of my opinion. To each their own.  But in all honesty, I’d love to know the background of a tattoo like this. I’m obviously missing something. Feel free to explain.

Shootin’ the Wit is a column about everyday life that should never, ever be taken too seriously.

7 thoughts on “You paid for that?

  1. Yeah, I saw a woman with sleeves — tattoos that covered her arms — and it just didn’t strike me as attractive. My husband agreed.

  2. With meaning, a tatoo can mean so much. I just don’t understand why they do it if they don’t understand why they do it.

  3. I cannot imagine a situation where I would ever want any tattoo on my body. Tattoos are a desperate plea for attention used by those who lack even a shred of individualism. I don’t have any moral objection to tattoos, I just think they are ugly and make their wearers look cheap and unimaginative. But, like you said, to each their own!

    • Every single one of my tattoos serves a purpose for me. They are permanent reminders of a critical point in my life, set into an artistic medium for me to either enjoy or regret, but always something on which to reflect. Why do I choose a tattoo as my method of reminder? Throughout my life as a high school athlete, a college athlete, as a sports official, and even getting into a car crash, I have suffered many major concussions. Over time, these injuries add up and you get what has been made popularly denoted in the news as TBI – Traumatic Brain Injury. The symptoms for TBI are not the same for everyone, but a major problem for me is the fact I have severe memory loss upwards of two or three months. It has affected my memory such that I actually need a visual association to prompt memory recall. This is where my tattoos come into play. They serve as my **permanent** visual association so I can remember significant events in my life.

      Not everyone is desperate to fit in with what is newly popular.
      Not everyone is looking for attention when we get tattoos.
      Not everyone is as judgmental as those without tattoos.

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