Each year, Christmas “junk” seems to appear earlier. Forget Thanksgiving. Skeletons and ghosts are hardly off the shelves when egg nog and wreaths appear in stores. It kind of reminds me of how grandpa used to show up at our house three hours before arranged, sending my mother into a complete tizzy.
“I’M NOT READY FOR COMPANY!!!”
This year I heard a Christmas song the day after Halloween. Not Thanksgiving. Halloween. The night previous was spent coaching my boyfriend on how to scare the zombie blood off the little brats trick-or-treating at my house. Just 12 hours later my absolute favorite Christmas tune, “Linus and Lucy,” was playing over a store’s speakers. That was a rapid turnaround. I feel like seeing Santa Clause shoot off fireworks isn’t that far out.
Now, just weeks later, I’m attempting to pull back my own reins on putting up Christmas decorations. Last weekend, I found myself hosting an anti-Christmas ritual in my garage attic in order to avoid heading back down with seasonal decor.
“Too early,” I said aloud, staring at the bagged tree branches.
My “Christmas must wait” rally came to a disappointing end when I returned from the attic empty-handed. There were no branches to haul up the stairs, no fake pine needle trails to vacuum, no lights that only work half the time and no crooked, fake tree taking up too much space in the corner of my living room.
For some reason.
Alright, so we all look forward to Christmas in different degrees. Some are Christmas freaks and many completely dread the season. I’ll admit I’m antsy this year. But while striving to wait until after Thanksgiving to get into the spirit of things, I needed something to “hold me over.”
Weeks ago, I gathered a few sticky handfuls of pinecones from below my parent’s pine tree. This week I purchased some white and glitter spray paint and had a hay day in the yard spray painting pinecones like a three year old.
Now, before you start poking fun, I’ll share with my readers what I tell my brother.
“If you don’t enjoy and celebrate the small things in life, you’ll be sitting around (fill in the blank with whatever he’s doing at the moment.)”
Mission Pinecone was a fun little project. As most readers know I’m entirely too far behind to be very informative, (I don’t have cable, own more VHS tapes than DVDs and am incapable of differentiating between a flip-phone and a Droid), I’ll admit this whole pinecone decoration phenomenon – although likely decades old – was completely new to me. Regardless, it’s a great project to do with kids, grandparents, or, in my case, my 280-pound boyfriend.
Yes. Arts and crafts with a linebacker.
The pine cones are now displayed in the middle of my dinner table in a red bowl. Unfortunately, they serve as a daily reminder that my tree has not been set up yet…
Shootin’ the Wit is a weekly column about everyday life that should never, ever be taken too seriously.