Will You Be My Valentine? No Thanks…

I wrote this a few years ago. Since I have a hand full of new readers and this bit was so well-liked, I figured there would be no harm in posting it again. Happy V-day!
I hate Valentine’s Day.

Single or not, the day may be the worst holiday ever celebrated.

My dislike for this defective holiday isn’t because I’m envious of women carrying around a dozen roses.  I don’t hate the day because it reminds me that the man of my dreams may not exist.  And I’ve never had a bad experience in the past that would lead me to feel this way.  I simply despise Valentine’s Day because of what it has come to represent.

First of all, I sympathize with men.  Being forced to send flowers, pick up chocolates, and search for a cute teddy bear in order to ensure your gal feels special on this “day of love” must be aggravating. Even if you feel Valentine’s Day gifts are cliche, you still must go through the hassle.

Why? Because if you don’t, you become the worst boyfriend ever (regardless of your previous status). From this day on, you will be known to all of her friends as “that guy” who did nothing for her on Valentine’s Day. (Gasp!)  If your relationship survives through the next two weeks of her ignoring you, congratulations! Now be prepared to make up for your lack of Valentinesdayness every Valentine’s Day for the rest of your relationship.

Although it’s a common misconception, this holiday isn’t a dream come true for all women, either.  Some women are intelligent enough to know the guy only gave a gift because it’s basically a requirement.  For the ladies out there who would take Starburst over chocolate any day, are saddened by wilting flowers, and know nothing about diamonds, Valentine’s Day never fails to be disappointing.

As someone who’s not very materialistic, it’s painful to watch the diamond ads portray women as gold diggers and listen to women compare what they did or didn’t receive from their loved ones.  Some women aren’t looking for an expensive dinner out or a card so sweet it brings tears to their eyes — what happened to doing things that mean more than they cost?

Do we really need a designated day to show someone we love them?  Isn’t it possible to consistently display acts of love each day, instead of saving it for one particular day? If your significant other waits until Valentine’s Day to show his or her love, maybe it’s not the love you deserve, and if you don’t know whether or not they love you by now, they probably don’t.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Shootin’ the Wit is a column about everyday life that should never, ever be taken too seriously.

4 Responses

  1. stormchaser

    That made me laugh.
    I stopped expecting my husband to get me anything for Valentines day, so I just buy myself something instead. After all, the only holiday he remembers is his birthday.

  2. I don’t need flowers, diamonds and certainly not chocolate. But a little something to commemorate the day isn’t uncalled for. My suggestion? Let’s nurse beers at the free origami class offered at the Art Center.

    No bones.

    Well if you don’t like it, I said, you plan it.

    I just want to make you happy, he said.

    Then go to the &%#@ class!

  3. Stephan Crossly

    I would rather take my date out before or after VDay. Way better deals, less hassel, and more relaxing then trying to rush through the motions.

    Dear Valentine’s Day,
    You are dumb, but not as dumb as the rest of us who always accept you.

Comments are closed.